Marked Woman

Why it's time to rethink how we view fashion — and each other.

It's time to challenge the stereotypes, reject judgements and embrace fashion as a tool for self expression — not a label.

By: Andrew Cardenas

I've always been fascinated by how clothing can tell a story. A well-tailored suit conveys power and confidence, while a casual hoodie and sneakers signals ease and approachability. But I've come to realize, as a man, my relationship with fashion is fundamentally different from a woman's. While I have the privilege of being unmarked in my choices, women are constantly scrutinized, judged and defined by theirs. Deborah Tannen's essay, "There is No Unmarked Woman," brought to light this dynamic and made me rethink how I view women's fashion as well as how I approach my own.

For men, fashion and being marked is seen as optional. We can throw on a plain T-shirt with jeans and no one thinks twice about it. The clothing we choose to wear, doesn't define us in the same way it does for women. A man in a navy suit is just a man in a suit. A man in a graphic tee and sneakers is just a man running errands. There's no deeper meaning attached to our choices unless we actively choose to create one. We have the luxury of being unmarked, of moving through the world without our clothing being a constant topic of conversation or critique. But this doesn't mean we're immune to marking. Men who step outside traditional norms — wearing bright colors or embracing traditional feminine styles — are marked being met with raised eyebrows. The point is, we have the choice to be unmarked.

Meanwhile women don't have this luxury. Every choice they make — from the length of their skirt to the color of their lipstick — sends a message. A woman in a pantsuit might be seen as professional, but she could also be labeled as trying too hard to fit into a man's world. A woman in a floral dress might be seen as feminine and approachable, but she could also be dismissed as unserious. Even the absence of makeup, a choice to go natural, can be interpreted as she doesn't care for her appearance. For women, there is no neutral choice. Every detail of their appearance has the potential to become a mark.

This disparity is something I've become increasingly aware of as I've grown more interested in fashion. I've started to notice how often women's clothing is discussed, critiqued, and policed in ways that men's simply aren’t. I've seen how women are expected to balance professionalism with femininity, individuality with conformity and boldness with subtlety. 

The fashion industry has a role to play here, too. Designers, brands, and influencers have the power to challenge stereotypes and redefine beauty. They can celebrate diversity in all its forms, from body size to skin color to gender expression. They can create clothing that allows people to feel powerful, confident and free — not constrained by societal expectations.

But change can’t just come from the top down — has to come from the bottom up. As consumers, we have the power to demand more from the fashion industry. We can support brands that prioritize inclusivity and sustainability as well as reject the idea that people’s worth is tied to their appearance. We can use fashion as a tool for self-expression, rather than a tool for conformity.

The problem isn't just that marking is unfair — it's that it limits us. It restricts our ability to see people as they are, beyond the surface-level assumptions we make based on their appearance. It hinders our ability to connect with others, to learn from their experiences and appreciate their individuality. 

It also means reframing how we think about fashion. Clothing isn't a code to be cracked; it's a form of self-expression. When someone wears something unexpected, it's not an invitation to dissect their choices or assign them a label. It's an opportunity to appreciate their creativity, celebrate their individuality and learn something new about the world.

This isn’t just about fashion — it’s about how we see each other. When we stop marking people with our surface-level judgements, we create space for deeper connections, for empathy and for understanding. We allow people to be themselves, without fear of judgment or ridicule. We open ourselves up to a world that’s richer, more diverse and interesting than we imagined.

In the end, the problem isn’t with the clothes we wear — it’s with the way we see each other. When we stop marking people we create a world where everyone is free to be themselves—unmarked, unjudged and unapologetically authentic. 

So how do we stop marking people? It starts with recognizing our first impressions are often wrong. When we see someone dressed in a way that challenges our expectations, instead of jumping to conclusions, we should pause and ask ourselves why we feel the need to label them. What assumptions are we making and where do they come from? Are we projecting our own insecurities, biases or societal conditioning onto them?